Changing Who I Was Before...

Looking back in time, we all want to change our mistakes and create new opportunities that we didn't embark on before. Time.
It's a passing element and we tend to forsake it more than anything before. Time flies fast than a dragonfly and there is no telling how much time we have left. I was looking for something to blog today. I thought about my past and how I can you use it benefit those who are the age that I was before. How can I help them? What could I possibly have to say to them that would be of benefit? So I look back throughout the years.

The age of 16 years old. I decide to write lessons I should have learned when I was 16 years old. Give myself the wisdom that I should have listened to before. Maybe this is what you are currently dealing with now, maybe not. If your mother, father, grandparents or other god-parents are deceased, this could be a refresher or a start of motherly advice that I have gotten.

Lessons for my 16 years old self.

Boys

Boys are immature. Dating is overrated because life at this point is not about locking lips or locking hips. If you're a girl or boy trying to find yourself, the opposite sex is doing the same thing. You're probably wishing and hoping for love, girls. I can't speak for boys because emotionally. I never understood them. I went to the school where my classmates wanted to just have sex and be popular for doing it better than the other boys. Competition??? That could be it? Not sure, but fitting in and being popular for dating, doing sexual activity is the dumbest way any teen could find themselves. Honestly, no names mentioned, I work with men that still do the same things as high school. The individual is in his late 30s. He sleeps with people at work and talks to the guys in my department. How dumb and insensitive he is. His cat's out the bag but he doesn't know that we all know about him and her. Really? Girls and guys,  because some girls are still conniving like that as well. Keep your legs closed. If they really love you and had morals, they wouldn't treat you like garbage and they would wait for you or dating you until both of you are ready to marry, are working and can support each or a family, if planned or unexpected.

Morals

Having morals is important to develop strong character. It may seem cool to not live morally, but fast -forward ten years ahead in life, people still don't develop them. EVER! Until, you have like 15 kids, caught a horrible STD, or just started to learn from your mistakes. So, choose decisions wisely, and study the outcomes very well (even if that means you have to google it), calculate the cost of unprotected sex, robbing a bank, stealing a car, breaking an entry, smoking as a minor, look up those situations because they happen and we hear about them daily. The consequences are to serve as a protection to prevent you from doing bad things, but also to help you keep the happiness that you were bound to have by the good grace of God. These morals when developed by an early age can help in the same way. You can help by keeping those that will steal or ruin that happiness. There is no point of pleasing the people you go to school with for the next 12 years or whatever years you have left in school total. You aren't going to live with those kids, you may see or you may not. They are not in charge of your life and even if you feel like their opinion counts, it doesn't. If you are still having problems adjusting or finding out the solutions to your problems and decisions, seek out a good role model or see if you can get sponsored by a mentor.  I will post some links to this site and if you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents by yourself as a school counselor, if you can arrange a meeting to discuss that.

https://www.studentmentor.org/mentee/register/standard?gclid=CIXe8aTxjLoCFUqk4Aodr14Atw


Friends

This category will change throughout your whole life. Don't expect it to be the same because people are revolving doors. The previous sentence can be taken in a literal sense of hitting you on your butt on the way out or opening up more opportunities in life. If you developed unchanging morals, then people who've developed the same morals will want to be involved with you or more familiar term, "be your friend". See having morals that you believe in can help you start to have the right people in your life. Having friends that do not share the same beliefs or the same disposition as you can hinder you than help you. You may find yourself having more to please them and meet them halfway, when it comes to hanging out or doing other secular activities that you feel uncomfortable about. Popularity fades away so fast after high school. You may have hurt other or may end up leaving a friend because your opinions and moral have mature. This happens throughout life and even when you think your mind will not change from one opinion certain things, trauma, and events take place that can alter that. Lasting friendship have no age and can start any time in life. Working on your personality, likes, dislikes and morals can help.

Parents/Grandparents/Legal Guardians

I know what you're thinking about. Omg! My parents never understand me!!! They don't listen. I am not here to call you a lie or say that you don't know what you are talking about. I am here to say that may be true. Your parents might not be listening with a emphatic ear. They, in fact, may not be paying attention to your emotions. Your grandparents could be a little old-fashion or too-strict. You don't get allowance and the other kids do. You don't have the latest and greatest iPhone 5 or Samsung Galaxy 4. You may be stuck in color t-shirts and blue jeans with shoes from Payless or what I call, "Payless Shoes". You don't get to hang out pass 8:30 PM, like your classmates. No after parties! No boyfriends! No sex!

The list keeps growing and going! You are enraged at how stupid, immature, and strict they can be! Stop right there! Do you hear yourself? How could you think that? Like the funny words of my coworker, "Have several seats." I am sure you might be missing that party at Jamie's house, that is full of friends and the one boy from gym class, who you think it's sexy. However, have you thought about the consequence of going, which in my 16 years old head I am thinking: "Nothing, but having fun." To deem yourself, mature to go to a gathering that has booze, boys and room is utterly stupid. You're emotional. If only you could see yourself! You probably have those arms crossed, thinking or if you're gutsy saying a million curse word, losing all sanity and having a 7 years old fit. Hah! You are acting like a child, and even if you polished up your tone, responsibilities and grades; you still are a child. You're not legal to smoke, drink and having premature sex. Can you bail yourself out of jail? No. Can you raise a child on your own? No. If you were legal to work without a worker's permit, and if you got a worker's permit, you didn't live at home, and you paid your own bills; we would not be having this discussion.

There are reasons for the things parents restricted, beside being old-school, strict, and just plain no fun. You probably have schoolmates that dropped out due to having a kid and getting her General Education Degree; you probably have a classmate that overdose on a combination of drugs; you have that one kid that was the very first to catch AIDS from unprotected sex; you know that one classmate who ended up on probation for committing assault and battery to his girlfriend or for robbing someone for money. These individual made bad decisions and if they only listened to someone whether that is a parent, grandparent, or someone that was looking out for them, none of that would have happened. It also could have been wrong place wrong time, choosing the wrong friends to hang out with. Learn from the mistakes you made while you are young and if you have been given a second chance. Having parents that do not support you can be frustrating and while some of got it better than others, some of us don't. I did, but I also made crazy mistakes in my life, luckily none of them were life threatening, but they could have been. If you swear, that you don't have sensible parents over you; you should have a trusted person (maybe, someone else's parents), role model, mentor or friend, that you can ask for advice. Talking to counselors at your school or reaching out for mentors to help. You can its available to and for you!!

Education and Goals

Short simple and sweet. High school and others may be life, but you only go to school one time. Your high school can affect where you want to go afterward. College or University, your academic grades get to choose for you. Consider that like a credit score. The more you don't turn into those assignments or you turn them in late; consider your credit score to be like 500 or lower. That is the essential to your life after middle school. Do what you love, but don't shun out opportunities. You will get to do what you love, it just may take a little longer to get there, but don't give up. Just ride the wave as it carries you there. The economy you 2014 and so on are going to land in has more bumps than a smooth ride. Be smart about it.


Well, this can be a lifelong blog about being 16 again. Hopefully some of the things I learn can help you with your life.


Helpful links for teens:

Help with anything. Online chat help.
http://teenlineonline.org/

For Pregnancy Support
http://www.standupgirl.com/

Information for Support and Facts,
http://www.justthinktwice.com/

Against Bullying
http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/#/home

Popular Site
http://www.thetruth.com/


Love you always, Kavi_Kris!!! Please subscribe for more intriguing blogs!