Unlocked Thoughts

This is a poem called Connections. I normally like to have prints of my poems but until I unpack my printer I will store it here. Enjoy :) Are you there? Can you see standing here? I appear to be near.  How can you not see the shadows and feel my body heat. I crowd your heart  and lay at your feet. God declared us one and here we are. I pulled on your wrist  and you push against my soul. The emotion connection has stalled and I'm appalled. We aren't fully engaged because as a child your emotions outlets have been blocked with rage. I fight you to untangle your emotional web, and I give myself up emotionally to be dread.  It's like a cherry blossom that has yet to bloom and I'm impatient as ever. I want the emotional channel that every married couple endeavors. Each soul is different, and some flowers even in the same bouquet take time to bloom. Just because you connect the two bride and groom. It still takes time for love to become don't...

The moment you think that you have a shoulder to cry on... but you don't. I don't blame myself and at the same time I do. I married someone who resists their emotions. I don't feel complete emotionally because I have no one to share those delicate things with. Most people, at least, have a mother, father, grandparents or a super close person who they can bond with emotionally. It becomes utterly personal and you just connect like the stars in the sky. Whelp, I don't have that or at least I thought I would. So hence, I thought I share what really matter to a girl more than guys know.  1. We want to be fondle and cuddled when things are emotionally overwhelming.  I can speak forever on this subject because I often have to shed tears to get the clue to my husband. Just for him to get the drift. Girls are emotional, duh, however scientifically proven boys are more than men. The outlet is more obvious for a girl than it is for a guy. If you're like me who h...

Reflections that I have seen in my life... Today I feel like the most unfortunate Christian wife, or maybe I’m just misunderstood often. I suffer from ADD/ADHD and I have often heard that I have a hard time focusing. However, today is just out of my reach for me. My husband and I argue frequently (and, I mean, what couple doesn’t). I struggle with having a mate that is disfellowshipped and I try my best to help him but, there are days when I think I do too much. It pains me and my day-to-day strides. Today we had list emergency info and I was listed as the “head of my household” I felt so stupid because I’m a wife and not a head of my household. I feel like so much disposition is on me because of the disorder in my current family arrangement. Today was hard because I had filled yet another shoe my mother was wearing. She was the head and the mother of my household. I had no father in my life. He was out setting a bad example for us, by not leading a godly father figure foll...

The Lives of Others I’m writing a new blog entry but this one goes out to everyone who has problems that they believe are enormous. It’s not really. I could cry a river the size of the Atlantic ocean for the 4 or 5 problems I could tell you on hand but as the saying goes: “There is always someone who goes through a lot more than you." No, I’m not talking about the people on The Dr. Phil show or Oprah. I mean, humanity all around us. They suffer too, who doesn't suffer in the world we live in now? No matter what age, religion, gender, race or language we speak we all are suffering at this very moment. I use this blog as an outlet and to touch hearts across the globe. I confide here to my anonymous avid readers because I don’t have to hear the scary noise of judgment and rejection for my problems and mistakes. I invite those here to this webpage so they can feel like this is a sanctuary. Consider the following phrase next. A person who has the brightest smile i...

Glad people have no problem voicing their opinions, after all they are entitled to it. It’s what makes “stupidity” a disease because people run with others ideas of life and how to live it. People need to rely heavily on Jehovah God and his principles found in the Holy Scriptures for things like true friendship qualities, finding a mate, getting married and staying married, solving indifferences, raising our kids and others. Stop “googling” your life! Another thing, there is nothing wrong with complaining because we are not immune to what others in the world go through plus we have emotions and we are entitled to those. Otherwise if we had no emotions or didn't show them how can people help you, like a good saying: “A closed mouth don’t get fed.” Just think no happiness or sadness, thank God we aren't designed like that just nothingness. Maybe some people like to weep behind closed door or when no...

I have been away from the doctor for about a week now and haven't heard my results. I still have minor digestion pain and not enough to qualify for another crazy pill. I don't know how I am fairing. I have good days and watch what I eat. I don't eat fast food ever. I just eat regular homemade food. My husband gives me good advice. I don't know. I just fear hearing another sad story. Doctors have changed. I hear more and more stories about Doctors pushing medicines on people just to get paid and not really taking care of the people in need. I miss my Doctor Wayne D Meech. He was my grandmother's and mother's doctor and he was my doctor. Three generations, he has seen in my family. He has retired and hopefully living well and beyond his years. He was the best doctor. He did what was needed not unnecessary. I hate to see another doctor because the side effects of medicine we take can sometimes be lasting and you don't know the damage done until ti...

Sorry I haven't been blogging everyday. So, allow me to provide an update on life. My Health: I am eating again. No, fast food and if so I am limited it to only twice in one month if that. I can't stomach barbecue sauce or citrus things. It does something weird to me but I dont know. I leave it alone. I can tolerate ranch and milk products. I dont get heartburn from foods and now I can swallow very well. I do eat stuff with probiotics that is the good bacteria for your stomach. I am feeling great and healthy yet again. We all know who to thank our heavenly Father Jehovah God for carrying us through. My Marriage: Tomorrow will be the official three months of being married to Jonathan. It's been great! We have discussed more things as times passes, such as future planning for kids, where we want to live, our debts and financial planning, and other things that most forget about in their first year of marriage. Lately, we have spent more quality time together. I ...