Overweight

Today, I had talk to doctor about my sleep study test last month. I had a very hard time according to the results. I had to sit and hear disheartening facts about my obstructive sleep apnea disorder. While my husband's family plea with me to not get the weight loss surgery and to pursue a healthier lifestyle.

My issue is I don't know how. You're probably reading this blog thinking, exercise and eat right. Well, I want to and I'm struggling. I don't eat vegetables. I did but I have a food sensitivity texture with some veggies and certain fruits, issues with portion control, and emotional eating disorder.

I'm a 407lbs champion except I have no muscles, just fat. Apart of me think to just get the surgery and hope for the best, then my mind tells me to work it out and get help. My job tells me, "We don't care work for us until you die and your problems are your problems." My expenses in life tell me, "Don't point the finger at me!" It's so hard to silent the noises and my anxiety.

I'm almost at the point where anything to help me lose the weight would be great. I gained a pound in 3 weeks. I guess I'm really at a loss. No one wants to evaluate my thyroid, my contraceptives or my emotional eating. I drink water and green tea. I try not to eat late. I still gain weight. I don't want to get cut open but I do want to live my life again. I want to be the "Crystal" I've always known. I moved here heavy and now I'm even heavier.

Until next time, Kavi out.